Losing Weight

I think now's the time to start with one of my issues, or the issue.

I was never obese or unhealthily overweight. I was like a twig until the age of about eleven when i grew a bum and boobs and never looked back. For years i was really unhappy but never did anything about it. I think my heaviest was 13 stone and a size 14.

Here are pictures of me from three years ago:

After i finished university i decided to stop moaning and do something about it. I started going to the gym, running and eating healthily. Healthy eating is still an issue for me but ill talk more about that later. 

At first i wasn't noticing a difference but i was feeling much happier within myself. I bought a special notebook which i keep all my random to -do lists and thoughts in and wrote down my stats, which i'll be sharing in my next post as this one will be too long!

This is what i currently look like. These pictures were taken in May/June but i think I've put on a few pounds since then.

I'm currently a size 12 and weigh just over 11 stones. I would love to be a small 12 and weigh 10 stone, i don't think that's an unhealthy realistic goal at all. I feel like i really need to tone my tummy, thighs and back fat and ill do this the healthy way with moderate exercise and writing down my stats every fortnight. The main issue for me is probably my diet. I don't eat complete junk but i don't think I'm eating enough of the good stuff or eating enough calories. I've tried making food diaries before but give up or forgotten after a few days. I'm really going to stick to a food diary this time, keeping a small notebook in my bag so i can write it down on the go.

Forgive

Forgive

"I forgive myself and others because life is a learning experience."

I mentioned in an earlier post that I've been having a rough couple of days. I've been debating whether to say what happened but i thought i would because people need to know they aren't alone with their feelings and also because i don't want to feel ashamed (although i still am at the moment)

Yesterday i got into a bad argument with my brain. A very bad one. I was going to the gym because i wanted a workout and swim so got ready and went downstairs to go out of the car and all of a sudden didn't want to. I felt disgusted with my body, why would someone want to see me all hot and sweaty? Who wants to see a chubby girl in a bikini? I was quite harsh on myself. I literally crawled to my front door and got in the car. It took me ten minutes to drive. Once i got to the gym, it took me twenty minutes to get out the car. I was DETERMINED i was going to get my ass into my bikini and into the pool!  My workout was fine. I do go really red in the face when i workout but i wasn't worried about that. I cried throughout getting changed into my bikini and avoided looking in a mirror at all costs. But there, i did it! I did not let my mind win!

 Today i forgive myself for getting into that situation in the first place and I've learnt that i just have to get on with it and not over think. I'm not going to beat myself up and have crying sessions like i normally would. It happened,  i did it, i got over it. Case closed :)

Changing my ways 1 step at a time

Instead of nose diving into a diet which is unhealthy and self destructing, I'm going to make little changes gradually that will become habit rather than force something on myself that i'll never achieve or keep up.

My first step is...

Drink more water

Source: Google

Everyone knows that drinking 8 glasses of water a day is good for you but who actually has time for that?! I figured out that if i start my day with a glass of water, one when i get to work,  one before and after every meal, a couple during my work hours and one before bed, i should get more than my recommended 8 glasses a day.

Everyone says there are always health benefits to drinking water like weight loss and more energy but i want to see what it does to my body. I don't think it will be hard as I drink around 5 glasses a day anyway. I'll report back with my results in a few weeks.

I like myself because...

Sorry i haven't posted in a couple days, I've had a bit of a setback and while feeling so negative i couldn't find myself to write any positives. But today is the start of the weekend and I'm going to get back on track!

 Starting with:

"I like myself because..."

1. I have a good sense of humour
2. I'm generous
3. I love the closeness i have with my family
4. I'm always willing to learn
5. I'm empathetic and can always think how the other person must feel in any given situation
6. I respect my elders
7. I am polite
8. I can get immersed in a project/film/good book with ease and still be thinking about it for days after.
9. I am a good conversationist
10. I am a strong person

Now onto the hard stuff! I like my body/appearance because...

1. I'm tall
2. I like my curly hair
3. I have a nice complexion
4. My shoulders are in good proportion
5. I like the green in my eyes
6. I like the size of my derriere ;)
7. I like my small waist
8. I have full lips

I could only get to 8 with this one. I find this quite an achievement as its my first go and later ill come back and add my last two, or maybe create a whole other list!?! That would be a miracle in itself though.

I would love to see your personal lists, only if you feel comfortable posting/emailing though :)

Laugh

" laughing at least once a day is good for my soul"

 I really like to laugh... a lot actually. This was taken in Mallorca where i went with the family i work with for their/our summer holiday. It seemed like we laughed for the entire two weeks. This particular photo was when i discovered the word "kudos" and we were having a competition to see how many times we could say it in one conversation. The little boys' Dad had finished his meal at a restaurant and said to the waitress "good meal, kudos to the chef!" I was in fits of giggles and this picture was born.

Laughing is actually good for you too, it protects the heart and boosts the immune system, while relaxing the whole body which in turn reduces stress. Plenty of reasons to laugh some more then :)

Encourage

Encourage:

"I Always encourage myself and others to exceed beyond expectation."

This has stuck with me throughout the day today. I work with a little boy with special needs, we do 3 hour table sessions twice a day, working on his own personal goals. Its kinda like home-schooling and is completely designed to challenge him. The serious problem in this case is not to challenge him: but to challenge me!

 This kid is completely amazing. We started off with labels (touch house, wheres the sun, find horse) and now, in just a year, not only can he read words such as verbs, attributes and pronouns, but he knows the definition behind them (what grows on trees? What do you put sand in? What do you do with an apple? Which ones shorter? To name a few) just today he was showing me things i've never taught him at the table before. There is not one thing that i teach him that he doesn't know or learn within a few days. He is non verbal and is working extra hard on his communication, and i honestly believe he will get there. 

He has taught me to never "dumb" anything down for anyone, simply because you think they may not be able to understand. Without pushing his abilities, i would have never known he had all this knowledge bursting inside him. He inspires me to push myself to my limits.

Always encourage yourself whether it's an extra minute on the treadmill or an important exam or work meeting.

 It won't hurt to believe you've passed your goal before its even happened :)